Get Clucky!

Monday, June 20, 2005

Waiting

Anne Lamott said this about waiting for results from her amnio, when she was pregnant:

"During the first week of waiting, you actually believe your baby is okay, because you saw it scoot around during the ultrasound and because most babies are okay. By the middle of the second week, things are getting a bit dicey in your head, but most of the time you still think the baby is okay. But on the cusp of the second and third weeks, you come to know--not to believe, but to know--that you are carrying a baby inside you in only the broadest sense of the word "baby," because what is growing in there has a head the size of a mung bean, with almost no brain at all because all available tissue has gone into the building of a breathtaking collection of arms and knees--maybe not too many arms but knees absolutely -everywhere-."

--Operating Instructions, pg. 6

Anyway, we here are waiting around a lot this spring. Most lately, we are waiting for the "Progesterone Challenge" to show some results. It feels like we are running in place.

I do this little two-step with myself all the time: it's fine, everything is fine, it's stupid to think something wouldn't be fine, won't you feel silly if you make a big deal out of this and it's fine....and then back the other direction: your body doesn't work, you've always suspected it didn't work, you probably have an extra pair of knees where your ovaries should be, etc.

Exhausting! I am ready to be done with this now, please.

2 Comments:

  • Good luck with the challenge! Who knew getting pregnant would be such a, well, a challenge.

    By Blogger Heather, at 9:31 AM  

  • i know, right? It all seems so bizarre..even though I was expecting it to bizarre. In the words of that brighteyes/conor boy: "i'm not surprised but I never feel quite prepared.

    By Blogger AltMama, at 1:00 PM  

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