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Friday, July 08, 2005

Ovulation WTF

One of the more optimistic things I've been meaning to do this week is to buy an ovulation detection kit. Or do you say an ovulation detector? Whatever. One of those. But I've had no luck, because I haven't been to a pharmacy that has the kind my doctor told me to get (clear plan easy), and so then I look at all the other ovulation detectors and have weird little conversations with the pharmacists about their thoughts and whether or not the cheaper one would work, etc. It stresses me out a little.

So anyway, last night I had a very long strange dream--probably my third or fourth this week that has involved not one but two babies (which is weird, too, but another point entirely). In my dream, I had got an ovulation dectector kit, and opened it up so I could do the pee test, etc, because (in my dream) it was first thing in the morning and I had to go.

But, in my dream, I had bought of course the wrong ovulation detector kit. Inside, instead of the nice little plastic stuff I'd been expecting, was a cup, a little packet of the paper you pee on, and also (get this) a PLANT. And according to the directions in the box, what you did was put a piece of paper into the cup, pee in the cup, and then select a couple of leaves from the plant to put in the cup, and then DRINK IT. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DRINK THE PEE! and then, if it was "spicy," you had ovulated.

I just don't know what to say about my crazyness here, people. Even in my dream, I was all: Dude, this is FUCKED UP.

I am thinking the whole leaf thing might have to do with "ferning mucus," which I am a little obsessed with these days. But as to the pee-drinking, I just cannot defend my weird unconscious.

Ew.

4 Comments:

  • That is a strange one. I often have wacked-out dreams.

    Regarding the OPK's: I use the Answer brand from Walmart. They're a heck of a lot cheaper and I've found them to work better than Clear Blue or First Response.

    But maybe I'm misunderstanding and you mean the little computer monitor thingy? If it's the monitor, then of course you need the 'special' clear blue sticks. I started using the monitor this month. So far I want to throw the fucking thing out the window but I know I need to be 'patient' and "let it learn my cycle".

    Patience was never my strong suit.

    By Blogger Dooneybug, at 6:36 PM  

  • Oh my god, that is too funny. I really did LOL!

    By Blogger Nico, at 8:15 PM  

  • I have whacked out dreams all the time. By the way, I've linked to your blog.

    By Blogger Em, at 12:37 PM  

  • LOL about your dream. You must have very lucid dreams like I do. I'll tell ya...when you have babymakin' on your mind (and esp. when you are pregnant) dreams come on like madness, eliciting all kinds of vivid imagery.

    By Blogger Leigh, at 1:20 PM  

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